...Okay so when I say worst Birthday ever, I don't mean I am passing a kidney stone, or got into a car accident or even shit my pants in public. It's called a hyperbole. The shirtless,toothless and all around trashy maintenance man who served me my birthday surprise however, is not an exaggeration. This guy is the product of two Indiana meth heads and a case of Keystone Light. Probably. He schlepps around yelling at his kids through a mouth full of chew. He's ridiculous. And he "served" me a late fee notice on my birthday and claimed he was changing my locks tomorrow.
Now, I don't even have the energy to explain why this is a joke. So Let's just say he has no idea what he's talking about and I am being charged money I don't owe. This is why people suck. Right here. You give a shirtless hillbilly some responsibility and he thinks he's Clint Eastwood. There is no reasoning with these people. He's probably dealt with so many drug dealers and shady people that everyone is trying to pull a fast one over on him, in his eyes. Which is kind of sad. But I really don't give two squirts of piss about humanizing him right now. His kids built a bike ramp in front of my house, they set off fireworks at 4am in the morning, he fixed my broken bedroom window with another broken window and he's trying to muscle me out of my apartment to get the extra money for his child support. Probably. Fuck this toothless bug spray smelling a-hole. I seriously hate the Midwest. And I live in a cultural wasteland filled with tractor pulls and shitty trailers stuffed with inbred children.
Luckily Matt and I are signing a lease to a really nice place tomorrow, which reduces the amount of bullshit I have to go through to a minimum. Now I get to spend the rest of my birthday consolidating all of the crap I have accumulated in the last year into 4 medium sized boxes (along with furniture.) Great. Fuck my life.
Have you guys ever had a shit birthday? Have you ever wanted to punch a maintenance man in the face? Or are you from Indiana and just think I am a butthole. Tell me.
